Ever feel like you're living in a real-life version of the movie Groundhog Day? In the world of motherhood, our days can sometimes seem like an endless loop of diaper changes, feedings, laundry, and repeat. But even amidst the routine, there are ways to find fulfillment and joy. Here are 10 secrets to feeling fulfilled when mom life feels like Groundhog Day.
It can be tempting to hit the snooze button when your alarm rings before dawn, but try to resist. Waking up even 15 minutes before your kids can set the tone for the day. I found the secret to actually getting out of bed in the combination of Mel Robbin's 5-second rule and the idea of putting your alarm in the bathroom. It is very simple: in the evening, put your alarm in the bathroom. When it rings, count 5-4-3-2-1 get up, walk to the bathroom, turn the lights on, and turn your alarm off. You are up! Start washing your face and waking up. DO NOT go back to bed. While I am waking up I like to listen to something motivational, that also helps me to wake up. Use this quiet time to meditate, stretch, read, or simply enjoy a hot cup of coffee. Starting the day on your terms can boost your mood and provide a sense of control.
Did everyone eat their breakfast without a fuss? Did your little one put on their shoes on the first try? Celebrate it! Recognizing and celebrating small victories can foster a sense of accomplishment and make the everyday feel a bit more special.
Gratitude has been linked with increased happiness and positivity. Make it a habit to list three things you're grateful for each day. They can be big, small, or somewhere in between. This practice shifts your focus to the positive aspects of your life. Sometimes I find it easier to practice a habit if you have a good tool for it. I use the 5-minute Journal every morning and before going to bed. Another gratitude practice I implemented is to talk about 3 things that my daughter liked during our bedtime routine. I usually asked her what she liked the most during our day and what we should say thank you for. I have been doing it since she was 2 years old and could speak, but before then, I was just saying it for her. I find it to be really great and easy way to teach our kids to look on the bright side, too.
Self-care isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. Make time each day for activities that recharge you, whether that's taking a warm bath, reading a book, going for a walk, or journaling. Caring for yourself helps you be the best mom you can be. Sometimes taking care of yourself looks like taking a nap. But other times it looks more like taking a class. Self-care isn't just investing in your comfort. It's also about investing in your growth. These days we hear a lot about self-care. And it often goes beyond attending to our baseline health wether it is physical or mental. We are advised to treat ourselves to restorative massage, enjoy a relaxing bath, or even indulge in a guilty pleasure, whatever it may be. And that is great! Because for a long time, many of us have neglected our basic needs, especially during that newborn stage. And therefor we've overlooked the value and the importance of doing things that bring us comfort and relief. And at the same time we maybe over prioritizing this definition of self-care. We maybe over focusing on feeling good because as it turns out discomfort can also be a very valuable tool that helps us meet our needs. You see, self-care isn't only about what soothes you. Sure, relaxation can help you feel better. But there are times when you need to go in another direction to apply your energy in things that help you grow. We forget about that aspect a lot more often as mothers. To be willing to endure a little discomfort as you engage with a challange. In this case your investment nets you something other than relief: instead you gain self respect, you experience the satisfaction and appreciasion that comes from putting effort into something that is meaningful to you, such as taking that class you have been considering even though you "never have time" or you doubt your abilities. Of course, when life gets busy, especially when it gets busy with kids, it's natural to simply want relief. But sometimes we focus so much on our desire to feel good that we forget that we can do hard things and we need to do those hard things to grow, to find fulfilment, and to live with purpose. In a way, the persute of self respect is the persute of self-care. Chalanges actually enhance our experience of comfort. As much as we know how nice it is to put a mud mask, we sometimes we feel guilty about doing it. But when we push ourselves a bit engaging in activities towards growth it is easier to see relaxation as something we are worthy of. Which we are no matter of. And then in turn that relaxation revitalizes us more, so we can tackle even more challanges that come with motherhood. So the next time you are searching for something soothing, consider some different ways of self-care.
Connecting with others who understand your experiences can be incredibly comforting and uplifting. Join local mom groups, attend play dates, or connect with other moms online. You'll likely find that you're not alone in your Groundhog Day feelings. And if you have no groups to join, create your own. That is what I did when my first daughter was little and I started to feel like I needed some like-minded people. I did it by going on Facebook, finding a women's group there and writing that I am looking for moms who have kids the same age who live in the same city so we can organize meet ups. I created a What's App chat, where we only talked about places and times where we meet up (be sure to approve all the people entering before by talking to them on Facebook and checking their profiles). And then start meeting up! And do not be discurraged, if you don't find friends the first time. It took me a few months to connect with some moms and to form my circle of people. That group grew and grew and now has more than 150 people in it. Of course, we do not meet up with all of them, but a few times a year I orginise some kind of event and then we meet new faces again, which could be refreshing and fun.
It's easy to get caught up in chores and errands, but don't forget to play. Take a break to have a dance party, play a board game, or draw with sidewalk chalk. This not only creates fun memories but also helps break up the routine.
Being a mom is just one part of who you are. Don't let go of your personal goals, whether they're related to fitness, learning a new skill, or advancing your career. Having something to strive for can provide a sense of purpose beyond motherhood.
Your house doesn't always have to be spotless, and not every meal has to be home-cooked. Embrace the messiness and unpredictability of parenthood. There's a lot of beauty and joy to be found in the imperfections.
Turn routine tasks into learning opportunities for your children. Let them help with cooking, gardening, or other chores around the house. This not only breaks up the monotony but also provides valuable life skills for your kids.
On particularly challenging days, take a moment to just breathe. Step outside, enjoy the fresh air, and take a few deep breaths. This small act can help reset your mood and bring a sense of calm amidst the chaos.
Motherhood often feels like a loop of the same tasks and routines, but remember, every day is a new opportunity for you and your child to learn, grow, and create memories together. Embrace the journey, momma. You're doing great.
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